My Defects
For example:
- I have sometimes been careless and unaware of the consequences of my mistakes. And, realizing that I've made mistakes and wanting to be better, I realize that I cannot both be myself, and become another at the same time.
- For example: At the age of 6, or 7, I hit my best friend, and next door neighbor with a souvenir baseball bat as I was practicing my swing and left to tell his mother before I saw him get back up.
- When I got lost following a cat, my Uncle got involved in experimentation on cats at the University Laboratories by placing electrodes in their brains (presumably to control their behavior).
- I wrote a Thesis for the University to obtain my Physiology Degree, but used research citing the vivisection of Monkeys to map the visual cortex, and while preparing for Optometry School protesters called out his research on the Avenue that there.
- When I returned home to start a business online, my first order was to improve a library of Marxist publications for a former professor, but because I was blaming everyone else for my failures, I couldn't see how my behavior resembled theirs.
- While working on a biotech project, I participated in research to improve our ability to control computers by intention, but by choosing to use my opportunity to do so with selfish intentions, efforts to control the computer became a opportunity to modify me.
I've always believed in being good and doing right, but I was not prepared to deal with evil or vengeance until I encountered it in my own life, and by then, I needed help.
- As I drove to help my daughter, efforts to help her may have compromised another person who's efforts to defend himself may have invalidated me, compromising us both.
- And, deterred from my opportunity to help her and still determined to work with others, I realized that they may have become victims of the same tactics: a kind of silent treatment resulting from Constitutional Limitations that are a fundamental fact of life.
Perhaps it was my innocence that failed me! I have no intention to hurt anyone and have always shared my own shame with professionals (everything that bothered me), so I didn't feel the need to apprehend any kind of retaliation, but upon reflection, I had to admit that names, whether they be of a person or place, a family name or corporation, have a life of their own and that connotations conjured up by others might result in representations of ourselves that characterize us in unsavory ways.